How to Silence Your Inner Critic
We’ve all experienced it, that inner voice in the back of our head that always seems to surface when we least expect it. “You’re not good enough”, “You’re not smart enough”, and “You’re not talented enough”, all common negative affirmations that our inner critic likes to remind us of.
While that little voice in our heads can be motivational and supporting at times, it is far too often standing on the side lines whispering words of negativity and judgment. When this inner critic becomes louder and consumes our thoughts, that’s when this inner dialogue can become debilitating and cause emotional damage, anxiety, and even depression.
Even when we are actively having a conversation with someone or our thoughts are fully consumed by something else, negative self talk can always push its way to the forefront of our consciousness. Think about it, how many times are you listening to a story when your inner critic begins making judgemental accusations? It happens far too often, and unfortunately, we have grown so accustomed to it that we don’t even notice its crippling effects.
If you find that this inner critic has power and control over your emotional well-being, it’s time to quieten that voice.
What if you could find a way to retrain our thoughts, silence that harmful inner dialogue and replace it with the more positive, compassionate self-talk we all deserve?
In this article, we’ll discuss what our inner critic is, where it stems from, and how to befriend it in order to achieve deep self compassion and mindfulness.
What Is Our Inner Critic?
Our inner critic is the involuntary internal dialogue we experience in our mind, minute-to-minute, on a daily basis. In Hinduism, this internal dialogue is referred to as the Monkey Mind. What often happens when our Monkey Mind becomes predominant in our daily life, is we find ourselves constantly at war with our own thoughts and perceptions of ourselves. This internal conflict can easily transpire into a number of mental states such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The Monkey Mind will vary in degree depending on the individual, but is usually stronger in those that have fallen into the victim mindset.
Our challenge is to rewrite this endless chatter when it begins fighting for our attention but with a hand of compassion, empathy, and acceptance.
Uncovering the Source of the Inner Critic
What actually sparks those negative thought patterns that can have such a devastating effect on our mental health and well-being?
Research suggests that this voice arises from negative beliefs that we hold about ourselves based on judgments and criticisms that we’ve received from significant others in our lives. These early life experiences are often internalized and turned into our own personal beliefs.
For example, when we’re young and make mistakes or don’t live up to the expectations of those around us, we might be verbally punished, by parents, coaches, or other peers. Children often learn behavior from their elders and will carry these traits into adulthood. As this negative self belief is carried throughout life, it begins to restrict an individual from seeing their greatest potential and self worth.
What Happens When We Believe The Inner Critic?
What if we fail to acknowledge this critical thought pattern? Giving your inner critic the power to affect your daily wellbeing can lead to a number of unwanted side effects.
At its most foundational level, our negative self-talk will hinder our self-esteem and self confidence, while bringing insecurities and doubts to the forefront of our minds. We will be constantly reminded of our failures and lack of success which in turn, will make us retreat into our own thoughts as a way to protect ourselves and “hide” away from further disappointments or failures.
How to Silence Our Inner Critic
Once we are in touch with our inner critic, we need to take action and intervene with our thoughts. Below are several ways to work on transforming your inner critic.
Acknowledge
The first thing to remember is that your negative inner dialogue is just a series of thoughts that very often holds no validity or truth. Once you acknowledge your thoughts for what they are, you can then begin to test out this negative thinking pattern and begin to change your internal script.
Gather Evidence
Once you have successfully acknowledged and pinpointed the message of our inner critic, it’s time to put it to the test. If our voice is saying to us in a moment of insecurity ‘You’re not competent enough’, then you need to challenge it. You need to find real-life evidence of the opposite, of times when you have been competent so as to counteract the negative statement. If necessary, write concrete examples down. The power of words can have a major impact on us, whether internalized or written down. Keep in mind that it can be hard to identify any positives when we're stuck in a negative state of mind so persist as a detective to pull up as many examples as possible that oppose this negative assumption.
Change Perspective
Once you have identified your negative thought pattern and challenged it with real-life evidence, you can then begin to change your perspective. Ask yourself, “Is there any other way I can look at this scenario?” “Is there a more productive and positive way I can be viewing this situation?” Not only can you choose not to listen to that inner critic, but you can also choose more positive and supportive thoughts moving forward.
How to Go From Destructive Thoughts to a Self-Compassion Mindset
When self doubt begins to creep into our conscious state, that destructive dialogue can derail all aspects of your life. This typically stems from a place of fear and can hinder your personal growth. When you find yourself in this place, take a moment to stop and focus on what that internal voice is telling you. Acknowledge the message, write down your evidence, and make a list of all the ways you counter that negative feedback.
Once you enter this reflection process, you can then move on to handling your emotions. By sitting with your thoughts and identifying the different emotions you are experiencing, you can then shift your mindset and form more positive thinking patterns. Once you accomplish this stage, that is when you will be mentally prepared to give yourself the self compassion and positive self talk you deserve.
